How you feel on the inside makes a huge difference to how you come across to others on the outside. That feeling shines through to the surface.
I can make you feel, look and sound confident and self-assured. You assertively ask for what you want while respecting the needs and wants of other people. When you believe in yourself and think things are possible they start to turn into reality. So much of your success is down to your attitude. It oils the wheels and makes it easy to achieve what you want as well as the impact you want.
Many people who are sure of themselves, tend to move and speak in a relaxed, unhurried fashion. While measured and composed most of the time they’re able to express their views with conviction and passion when they have an important point to make. Their outer behaviour is driven by inner factors such as self-belief, confidence, purpose and determination to succeed. If you are tentative, nervous and timid in what you say, you may struggle to get others to pay attention to you. Requests may be made half-heartedly, without full commitment, making it easy for the other person to say no.
So where does confidence come from? It can come from three areas: • Knowledge and skills • Recalling successes • Empowering beliefs
In the words of Henry Ford: “Believe you can, believe you can’t, either way you’re right.” Limiting/Empowering beliefs
For most people, the difference is made by whether your beliefs are limiting or empowering. By identifying and challenging these we can assert ourselves and achieve the outcome we want.
Every day we talk to ourselves about what we experience. This inner dialogue affects how we feel about experiences and how we respond. We’re often unaware of our self-talk but it has a powerful influence on our lives. Self-talk can be rational or irrational. If we talk to ourselves rationally about how things really are, we can understand, accept and behave appropriately. However, if we talk to ourselves irrationally about how things should or ought to be, or whether things can or can’t be done, we can feel uncomfortable or upset and react aggressively or submissively. By changing our irrational inner dialogue to one that is rational we can feel better about situations and behave in the most appropriate way.
It's worth taking some time today to listen to your inner voice and to identify whether what you hear is helping or hindering you in operating in the way you want. By responding to the voice rationally you can begin to change the power some of the limiting beliefs have over you, and by reinforcing the positives you can build the confidence to achieve more.